^ so much fun last night! 

&  Happy Birthday best friend!
Littlest Hobos 4lyfe.


And we'll never sing a song we heard on your radio,
or a song someone else was paid to write or sing
and we'll never sing of sex - the fakest kind of love,
those songs will not be played on our guitars!
on our guitarssssssssssss
on our guitars.

I feel so DOWN. I'm sick of how short-fused I am latly.
I guess it all stems from lonliness if you could even call it that...
its more or less an empty feeling i've been developing.
I HATE IT.
I  have to constantly stay busy. ANY alone time usually ends in me
racking my brain about the little things that never used to concern me.
I'm so TIRED.
I'm tired of everything.

i feel alone,
in a sense, its rewarding 
but i'm kind of lonely.
i've pushed so many people away...
but i don't regret a single thing.

the only things in life that really brings me down are people...
not anything important, or even anything i care about.
i get so bent out of shape about my friends.

Nothing.

i really liked him, i didn't lead him on.
i could have tried harder, but thats not who i am.
i don't fight...
for anything.
you shouldn't have to.
thats all i have to say about that.

My ideal weekend might start with something going on early friday morning, i.e. a concert/play/road trip of some sort. Since i'm feeling summery,  a nice day outside or at a beach would be nice; following after. The night might end with a campfire in a different state, just hanging out with a bunch of good people. I would like the rest of the weekend to go about the same.

i'm sick.
no more of this all over the fucking place nonsense.
i need rest before i get pneumonia again.

no one else can help you, you need to help yourself.

i can't sleep. 
can't sleep.
can't sleep.

i don't know why exactly. its knotting in my stomach and it feels weird to realize
that my feelings are completely irrational at times, somedays i wish i could just
forget what i've done and make things easier on myself by thinking a little bit less .

There is no anger, just growing exhaustion and disgust.
No longer difference between.
A cynicism has been writing itself into my skin,
and I am sick to death of it.

So let it burn in the front yard,along with everything I own.
Piled up and sprayed down with gasoline,
Soak the embers in the broken heads of my
guitars as we dance around in circles, torch ourselves in effigy.
Everybody jump up live, love longer

So are you really listening?
I don't want any part of it.
I was worried and upset about what I'm gonna do without your genre acceptance.
Then it came to me:
You gotta turn your back and abandon it.

I'm taking aim at you; as a focus and recipient of judgment.
Well your politics are easy to remember,
especially when sung along to beats like this, so:
It's a dirty little secret about money?
It's a dirty little secret about poverty?
It's a dirty little secret about hunger?
Another little secret about war and brutality.

There is no romance, no glamour in reality.

What!?

There is no romance, no glamour in reality.

are you angry? are you searching for a better way to live?
are you waiting? have you been waiting too long?
 

how can i help but feel depressed, get up in the morning and get dressed,
look out the window through rush hour smog ...
smoke and drink the world away 'cause what the politicians say won't answer any of my questions like ...

why am i angry?
what am i searching for?
is there a better way to live?
why am i hopeless?
have i been waiting too long to strike back against this state of affairs?

i've been having dreams
about working out situations that are bothering me.

i wish i were as brave as i am in my dreams.

I've been busy. I'm always busy.
I'm always busy with myself, my needs, my goals.
Love and good friendships may take effort.
they cause a lot of stress at times and they take away from us. (ourselves) 
This is why we fall in love, make friendships.

We all need  a vacation from ourselves;
some more than others.
I was most happiest when my friends ran my world.
they have their own problems, dreams, goals.
They make you forget about you.
Parents, teachers, etc. they care too much for us.
they feed our ego and sometimes tear it apart.
they remind us constantly of what we should be, what we should do. 
( as if we don't think about THAT sort of thing enough)

Its not healthy to spend too much time alone.
Constant activity ALONE does nothing to distract my mind.
 I can't help but think too much about myself.
Selfish, yeah.
pathetic, probably.

I need some time off from me.

i've done the same things to people in the past.
i need to stop thinking i deserve better somehow,
because i don't.
life seems to have this way of evening itself out.
i guess this is just my time to feel like this.

i think a lot. too much.
i will just be alright with myself,
everything
no matter what happens.

I keep tellin’ myself that it’ll be fine
You can’t make everybody happy all of the time
I found myself in a place that I never been
A place that I thought that I would never be
There’s people looking back at me

I keep having this dream; I’m at a party
There’s people throwing drinks and screaming
telling me that I don’t belong
Lately life’s been the same
I find this comfortable place
With all my friends
then my friends start telling me that I’ve always been wrong
And I’m so tired of being wrong